


Herb Lore

by sirsparklepants



Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: Gen, Jaskier | Dandelion Is a Little Shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:02:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23192089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sirsparklepants/pseuds/sirsparklepants
Summary: Jaskier and Geralt have a disagreement over morning beverages.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 4
Kudos: 87





	Herb Lore

**Author's Note:**

> This little scene came to me because Loq told me garlic is medicine in the Witcher books, as it is irl, and I went into an herblore and trained singer fueled trance and came out with this mess. Thanks to Ivy for introducing me to the tea in the first place.

“Milk, Geralt, really? Do you think I’m a child?” Jaskier asked, staring at the wooden cup sitting next to his otherwise inoffensive breakfast. Normally he appreciated the small gestures his traveling companion made for him, but this was just beyond the pale.

“It’s fortifying. You have a long day,” Geralt said, not bothering to look up from his own bread and beer.

“For children, maybe, or people who are recovering! I’m not recovering from anything more than your frankly absurdly long days on the road! I have a _performance_ tonight!” Jaskier exclaimed, throwing himself back on the tavern bench with what he felt was exactly the appropriate amount of dramatics for the situation.

At that, Geralt finally looked up. “I know,” he said, and gestured towards the milk. Like that would make anything better.

Jaskier sighed. “Geralt,” he said. “When I know I’m going to be performing in a place like this, what do I drink?” he asked, as patiently as he could manage.

Geralt frowned. No doubt he wished Jaskier hadn’t noticed him paying enough attention to know. “Small beer, watered wine. Mulled wine if it’s cold.”

“ _Exactly_ ,” Jaskier said, throwing his hands up in the air. “Milk was not on that list! I cannot drink milk the day of a performance, Geralt, I simply can’t.”

“Why not?” Geralt asked. He’d turned so his body was angled towards Jaskier, though his face was still forbidding. Interested but not wanting to show it, Jaskier judged.

He sighed again, more deeply, and grabbed one of Geralt’s hands in his own. He waited out the reflexive flinch and placed it half on his throat, half on his chest while Geralt blinked at him, obviously confused.

“Do you feel this?” he said, projecting his voice a little - not enough to pain Geralt’s sensitive hearing, just enough so the vibrations could be felt in his throat and chest. Geralt nodded.

He took in a deep breath and sang, round and open and resonant so his voice carried, “ _what about now_?” To the tune one of the phrases from Toss A Coin, of course.

“Yes, I feel it, get to the point,” Geralt grumbled, taking his hand back.

“A vocal musician’s power and clarity comes from those vibrations,” Jaskier said, falling into the familiar cadence of a lecture. “Milk - and things that come from milk - produce phlegm, which is bad for the balance of the humors as well as blocking the vibrations. I must be at my very best when performing, and milk is the singer’s enemy!”

“Hmm,” Geralt grunted, and took the cup of milk for himself. “What will you drink, then?”

“Well, as I have both time and opportunity to prepare, I shall drink the same thing I drank before my exams at Oxenfurt, of course,” Jaskier said, catching the eye of a barmaid. “My good woman, could I trouble you for a pot of hot water? I have everything else I could need.”

When said pot arrived, Jaskier opened a small pouch he kept tied to the waistband of his pants and pinched about half the contents into the pot. As soon as the pouch was opened, Geralt’s eyes narrowed.

“What is that?” he asked, staring at the steeping tincture.

“Sage and thyme, as I know you well know. Clears phlegm from the lungs and throat, good for colds but invaluable for singers,” Jaskier said cheerily.

“You used the last of our sage and thyme on a goddamn rabbit two nights ago and you _knew_ it was medicinal,” Geralt said, voice dropping into a growl.

“First of all, that rabbit was delicious, and don’t think I didn’t see you sucking the bones clean,” Jaskier said, applying himself to his breakfast. “Secondly, it wasn’t the last of our sage and thyme, as you can well see here, Geralt, and if for some reason you found yourself struck with deadly cold, of course I would have given mine over, but yours was losing freshness and potency, really. Thirdly, we’re here now, at a town where we can resupply, so it’s hardly the great tragedy you’re making it out to be. I’ll buy you some more once I’m paid for tonight, fresh that you can dry yourself, how about that?”

Geralt snarled at him and stuffed the last of his breakfast in his mouth. “You’re on your own tonight,” he said, and shoved back from the table with a rather unnecessary amount of stomping.

Jaskier just laughed. His patron tonight was an old school friend, hardly one to allow Jaskier’s peccadilloes to move anyone to violence. He’d let Geralt have some space to cool down from his snit. “See you tomorrow, my friend,” he called after Geralt’s retreating back.

He wouldn’t let Geralt being a grump who insisted on suffering ruin his morning. His tea was just about ready, so he poured a cup and smiled at the barmaid, who looked a little alarmed at large men stomping about her tavern. “He’ll be back once he’s brushed his horse and calmed down,” he said. “In the meantime, do you have any more of this excellent bread?”

**Author's Note:**

> A ton of herbal medicines are actually useful for flavoring food as well, so don't tell me that Jaskier and Geralt don't get into arguments about the proper use of herbs. Some professional singers take expectorants before performances to clear out mucus from the vocal folds for exactly the reasons Jaskier elaborates on here. And milk will indeed make you snotty and your voice sound a bit worse, although if you don't have a performance it doesn't matter that much. Almond milk doesn't, and it's in fact period appropriate if expensive, but the herb joke took precedence.


End file.
